-


my nose's all choked up and blocked and my head's not giving me a good time either. i feel feverish and my inner eyelids are burning, and dammit i feel groggy.

hopefully by tmr the queasiness will ease. okay prisonbreak is on and since The Yeamer is refusing to tell me the ending i shall watch it bye.

N, 9:34 PM



Remember when things seem so stable... you know that
I compromise just to appease
Yeah, you take but you take too much
If what you need's not seeming able... yeah, right
Then maybe it works when I leave
Yeah, you fake what you say you love




ohno, im hooked ):

the very much behind times rebecca and i finally caught casino royale, and apart from the freezing in the cinema, all was good. it was good seeing becks and her newfound-straight-hair. :D

The Yeamer came on for a brief moment, like 4 minutes before i was due out and she still refused to reply my mail! gee woman, stop being evil. anw, tmr's alry 29th!

semlly mel flies for england today, leaving behind unreplied smses for balls and i ): i wonder if she saw any of it. it's gonna be a long, quiet and lonesome 3 weeks w/o her. bah, it has alry been semi weird ever since prelims ended anyway.

tonight ends or is going to end with a tremendously down note, so did ytd. whatever happened to happy holidays. i waited, for the both of you. maybe we should call it a day guys, okay maybe I should wrap it up.

N, 10:24 PM



i'm living for the only thing i know
i'm running and not quite sure where to go
i don't know what i'm diving into
just hanging by a moment here with you


omg, seriously i cant believe myself. but you know, who the fuck cares right, bitch? :D

jamie desperately wants to be mentioned so HELLO ALMOND. get well soon okay, so we had a blast and please next time when you're not well, we will watch dvds at your's. <3

sounds well out of place, but i miss my imaginary friend, (:




and i will see U tmr, (:

N, 8:01 PM



I won't ask for much this Christmas, i won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting, underneath the mistletoe

I won't make a list and send it to the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to hear those magic reindeer click
I just want you for my own

the lyrics remind me so much of Genting last year, and Miss Alyssa Tan's debut performance as a narrator. ahah

i pulled my knees up to my chest and stare into space, metally going through what you said over and over again, then i find myself smiling. its both comforting and very lovely. ah the funs of living in a self made fantasy world.

i thoroughly enjoyed joan's company on the busride back, friendship with her just spells effortless. no bitching, no gossiping, now some of us start thinking no bitching, then what else? we sang carols. mainly forgetting alot of them. haha fa la la la la.

ballsZx annoyed the hell out of me just now. we have poor communicating skills gee we have to do something about it. and semlly mel is not replying which is also very annoying. one more freaking week till i see The Yeamer! omgomg cant wait cant wait. (:

now on to some email business and later put on bookworm status. byee

N, 8:09 PM



-

' it's healthy to live for the moment sometimes, but the trouble is that when you're past that moment, there's not that much left.'

i finally finally finally laid hands on the 4th instalment. yay, i was literally over the moon when i saw a different color pop out among the usual books on the shelves, its pastel yellow and very pretty, as it is to read as well :D:D:D 5th book comes ard May and maybe by then i'ld have forgotten all about it and gee how sad is that! but i digress.

today was fun-filled and i miss semlly mel alot. today we reverted back to us duing the earlier part of this year, just making fun of weird people(oops) and laughing together and just basically having fun. no doubt we all change, but sometimes we all wish it can arrive later. i hope tuesday's date still stands and i'll miss her when she leaves on wed for a whole 3 weeks or 2. <3!

meanwhile, when one leaves another gets back, i cant wait to see almond on monday, she had better be able to make it. so i guess she was the only one who really went abroad and got excused for prom for that reason. haha told you she rocks.

the 4th book is staring at me as i type and im still trying to get used to the picture looking back at me. sheesh im an addict. tmr's lunch with faith and joan, i hope joan's feeling better! dont ever let faith talk you into having lunch when youre ill. haha aiighties, i am so eager to get back to reading, but my eyelids prolly will succumb and not let me finish it today. no they wont.

N, 11:31 PM





-

I'm curious to know exactly how you are
i keep my distance but that distance is too far
it reassures me just to know that you're okay
but i don't want you to go on needing me this way

ah it says it all. ):
i dont want you to know imy. because im afraid of what it may bring. im crossing my fingers you read this and knw you still matter a huge deal to me.





-

happy times, melly just left with the lobster, and the duo was hugely annoying last night. my back ached in the morning and im sure char's did too. ): so more hardcandy, takethelead and tokyodrift while my shortlived freedom grace period dies out.

p/s. have a fun trip jamie! im so sorry i forgot about it when you rang last night. guess mahjong does more harm than good. :D you have fun in kl and dont brood over unhappy stuff, i'll be waiting patiently till the 27th! we're gonna have a blast, loveyouverymuch! merit and distinction! you rock, girl (:

catch ya on the flip side, <3
---- forever ours, (:

N, 6:09 PM



Just one smile on your face
Was all it took to change my fortune
Just one word from your mouth
Was all I needed to be certain

i deleted the whole chunk i wrote just now, which technically is now. but its 9.41 now so, whatever i dont get myself. i just decided to log in and go wander off for ultimatefighter, which sadly anthony lost.
he looks devilish(is there such a word?) but he lost. ha ha. luke's a freak himself, so they're on par. idk why im such a fan when i alry know the results, maybe thats what they call living in the moment. damn.

so i was washing my hands in freezing tap water and i wish for so much that my random thoughts cld come to a halt. then i realised it my thoughts were like running water, then maybe people wont be so plagued. it gets washed away afterall. then the book i was reading says, stagnancy is death, which i dont agree. bore and being conservative doesnt necessarily equate to death, nor is being insensitive to changes. dead for the brain yes, ohwell maybe if my thoughts cld freeze i'll come up with a much coherent version of what my mind is thinking, see stagnancy aint so much harm afterall.

i wonder when he'll ever crack, oh my superdad. pardon my lousy rhyming, haah. okay antm soon, and then some war in the pacific and maybe snipets of china. and ballsxX for more (i absoulutely hate) accounts tmr. gee how interesting a life i lead. byeee

it sure looks and sounds better, but is it the way we both wanted?
oh the selfish green monster strikes again

N, 8:02 PM



And from the bar room floor we are a celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we are, we'll sleep well

You have stolen
You have stolen my heart

-

yesterday was filled the one thing i needed to clear my hazy mind, laughter.

afternn was spent sleeping on ballsxs' couch dozing away whilst she did her amath, so i had every right. ha then hellomotto rang and she sneakily went to hide along the corridor until i woke up. suprisingly i fell right back into slumber. then our 411 ambassador called. HAHA. geee that alone cld very well be the highlight of the day. so now our post o plans are somewhat finalised and the next week will blow by quickly enough. hurray
then ballss fooled ard with her m&ms and started wetting it and coating her lips with it, and i was trying SO hard to control my fits. she was doing it so nonchalently i cldnt help applauding her for the wonderful distraction. sheesh! grow up char. but it was fun! i tried it myself. haha

i finally watched lb epi12! ty so much jon. at first kyndra appears like such a horrible slut, its almost impossible to wound up being sorry for her cause shes so dumb to fall for tyler time after time. and rocky was missing, what she needed time to nurse her wound? haha and now im just sitting ard waiting for 5 to come. okay maybe i'll do some history.

turned off or not, i dont care. it was carefully scripted and as you can see, the plan in getting over it is falling into place. oooh it's been chilly for such a long time now.

18days The Yeamer! <3

N, 4:08 PM



You know your love is more than wearing
Dolce and Gabbana, Gucci and Prada, trips to Nevada
And I admit that you hurt probably true
But out of all these girls the only one I loved was you
I love you

- sounds kinda strong doesnt it.

anyway i was so hungry i turned desperate and settled for some cheapskate and bland tasting noodles and turned inexplicably proud of myself. so it's that simple when you dont have expectations. some food for thought huh.

so finally now i've heard no dickybird, my mind should be eased. guess impulsations
do more harm than good. i want to firmly believe there shouldnt be any remaining strings attached, i want to be convinced we didnt start something we know will come to an end so soon. maybe i shouldnt have left it openended. now i feel somethings dangling, in suspension. and the xoxoxos, i should have known.

ohgoodness, i totally am relunctant and unwilling to believe my newly arrived 411. gee ballzSz youre something. my horoscope says that tmr will be a good time for finding confidantes, so muaha charlene tan here i come.


today, i fantasised and idolised.
we ride, we ride, took me swimming in the ocean.
that i'll keep with me.

x on both cheeks, for the last time.

N, 10:12 PM


If we were a movie,
then you'd be the right guy
and i'll be the best friend
that you fall in love with ..

-

maybe i thought the reply(or lack of) would grant me some kind of reassurance, maybe. perhaps i just needed to occupy myself.
maybe i'm too swayed by emily's style of writing.
perhaps i should start to shower so i can catch that so raven in time. should i be looking forward for any replies? it's symbolic so.

ohyet another day gone by ticked away in my calender of o level papers. a mere week more and ill look back and stab myself for not studying harder. its my call, i can either do that, or party like there's no tomorrow. the irony is, tomorrow always comes. oh the dread. math had better be easy, although i seriously question why people thought paper 1 was a breeze. process folks, process.

p/s i love my current nickname very much. it makes total sense, maybe it's cause it justifies how i feel deep within. oh emo night with emo posts accompanied with a string of perhaps and maybes. maybe its a reflection of how unstable and suspecting my life is.

p/p/s just to set the record straight, the pui and teng one is undeniably ballxz, okay that was the lighter note of this whole emotionless post.

N, 12:03 AM



i just wanted you to comfort me
when I called you late last night you see
i was fallin' into love

all the while you were in front of me i never realized
i jus' can't believe i didn't see it in your eyes

-

i'm starving, and i swear physics finally took its toll on me. ohyes, i'm starvingg.

i cringed, and am very very very nervous. and that insatiable appetite of mine, gee i dont wanna talk about it. now i'm just hoping very sincerely that almond won't cry for geography, haha <3 you very much! btw blogging is working at such a fast and alarming rate im kinda freaked out. so anw,


you sang to me

N, 9:12 PM



I got a fat sack and a superfly chick
There ain't nothing you can say to a playa

Cause doowop, she fly like the planes in the air
That's right she's full grown setting the wrong tone

I'm digging the energy and I'm loving the o-zone
So fly like a dove so fly like a raven

tmr will be horrible, i feel weird w/o yeamer, kinda void. HAHA.
yes tmr will be horrible.
if only i cld transform into that fictional character overnight, i'll love living in london and having a soulmate who photographs and owns a gallery, who by the way own a very cool and bling name of asher.
then only will my lake start to shimmer with sunshine, and my farmhouse will be chic, not ostentatious with gaudy golds.(do they really need to acessorise farms? sheesh) p.s, its not my fault its o's eng tmr, damnit
(note to self: pleasepleaseplease rmr not to end sentences with prepositions.)
i need to head to borders, asap. the addiction for emilyfranklin never ceases. gee

N, 10:19 PM



You're sweet just like the sun
But what happens when the sun doesn't stay?
The night reminds me when you went away
Now my mind was pacing, heart is racing
contemplating things that I lack

-

just tell me when to do, what to do

today was aiight, but some people had to rain on my parade. at times like these, you have to thank God for people like yeamer. ok error, for someone like yeamer. haha exams times are emo times. geeee

i hate being unhappy around the people i love, so much. i hate it when this happens, it will end but when. when, friend. char that blockhead only cares about pui pui de de and whatnots, ohno i have cmi friends ): LOL.

physics will be over before i know it and, soon i will be mopping ard cause i have to work. shit, we're never gonna be content will we.



N, 11:43 PM



Last call, no more drinks tonight,
And it's not your fault, its time to walk away from,
This velvet box, full of alcohol,
And TV talks, gone on far too long

sheeesh, its social studies time. i long and dream of chucking my blue and unkempt file somewhere where i cant find. oh theres hannahmontana, yay.



N, 2:54 PM



Friend so fly i can go fly
Private, cause I handle mine
Call me candle guy, simply because I am on fire
I hate to have to cancel my vacation so you can't deny
I'm patient, but I ain't gonna try

crap saturday, youtube decided to not put up wholeepisodes, after 11 freaking of them! so jon's being nice by helping me dl them (:

ill do one chap from sec 4 and continue the rest tmr! today was crap, need i repeat it anymore! sheesh
i just realised how cute adam garcia looked in coyote ugly, and how thrashed and bad he looked with lindsaylohan. what a turnoff!
i will stop ending my sentences with !

i wanna eat hotcakes for breakfast tmr, and i also crave for my mcspicy, dang big mac's fan. geee ok fine while waiting for jon ill get started on some ss. night!

smackthat, smackthat

N, 10:08 PM



It's not the hardest thing for me to say
Without cracking a smile
It's something that we both really feel inside
But never talked about
They call in love
Oh yes they do

stupid py forgot to return my my stuff when we were at my place, damn! cpy. haha
my dad's being very naggy and angsty cause jean danker wont stop talking about her job. sheeesh and shit my cravings are surfacing.

but i do love you,

N, 8:06 PM



Country Roads, old theatre marquee signs;
Parkin' lots, and billboards flyin' by.
Spanish mosques, little hick town squares;
Wild roses on a river bank: girl its almost like you're there

cramps hit an all time high and im so fucking grumpy. the warm waterbag shit is not working.


im in too much pain to be funny, but happy birthday semlly mel. (: i hope you enjoyed today, even though you wrecked half of it by ruining the surprise. i love you very very much, yes even if you abandoned balls and i for club with wayne the lobster.



(:

N, 7:11 PM

chijTOAPAYOH (4/9ohsix!); yjc ctg129 07


Lovelies
♥alanaa
♥beckss
♥ballxxx
♥diraaa
♥glutt!
♥nehhh
♥phyllis
♥secret admirer
♥smellyyy